7 Steps To Build Self Confidence


Are bold as a Lion or as timid as a Turtle?  Do you have the confidence to face your giants or do you retreat inward to your  shell, hoping that no one rolls you around too much?  Our days wind on without much thought, until one day you wake up and realize that for the years you were playing it safe, you could have been living.

This is a painful moment in a person’s life.  One I see often, when a client’s celebration for changing their lives, is short lived when they quickly switch to wishing they hadn’t wasted so many years living under the thub of their fears. This is why I’m sharing this truth with you now.  Hopefully, you will read on and receive the inspiration to change for good.

No Regrets

We have to face our world every single day.  It seems we play a game of give and take with our limits and our boundaries.  Imagine we were in the middle of Monday morning rush hour waiting to enter a crowded train.  Would you hold the door open while it is closing because you believe, “I deserve to be on this train?”

On the other hand, would you look at the same train and say, “Well, I don’t want to be the person who holds all these people up.” Is this a choice between consideration or arrogance? Think about all the times we just went for it.  You may not have achieved what you were going after, but you probably don’t have any regrets.

How about the sad soul who has to explain why they didn’t, couldn’t, or wouldn’t.  Think about how much different your life would be if you never doubted yourself–ever!  You wouldn’t be stuck of feel forced into a corner.  Oh No! somehow you would have marked your territory and provided enough space for you to be comfortable and enjoy life.

Today, we are dealing with the force that propels you into your next big step of faith.  The quality that keeps you from being denied.  We are talking about self confidence.


◆ Self-worth: the value you place on yourself how comfortable you are being you and the extent to which you feel worthy of happiness and success.

◆ Competence: your beliefs about your capacity to achieve, solve problems and think for yourself. This is what I mean by confidence.

◆ Belonging: whether you feel accepted and respected by others. This is the first step in finding your center of worth.


Consider these three areas of building self-confidence to find your strength and worth.  Know where you belong, who loves you, and what you can do well.  Once you discover your center of worth, you have a basis for confidence.  Now, this doesn’t mean that you should use your new found confidence to put other people down or damage others’ self worth, though I am pretty sure you don’t really need this warning.

So, what’s next?

Now that you found your center of worth, you have substance. Something is there. You have a basis for belief in yourself and your capabilities.  This is an important breakthrough, because it gives you a statement of your value, when faced with the challenge of moving into uncharted territory, having little confidence in new places. Once you’ve discovered your base of confidence, grow it by using these 7 keys to building self confidence.


1. Stop comparing yourself to others and stay focused on your abilities.

2. Stay in line with your passions. Life is too short to waste time focusing on the things you don’t want.

3. Be constructive and resolve to be the positive voice in every situation.

4. Take it easy.  Relax.  Go with the flow.  Don’t be easily rattled.

5. Don’t focus on the little things. Step back and take a look at the bigger picture.

6. Remind yourself of the people who truly love you.  Consider the “why?” When you know that you are valued, it can help you when your worth is questioned

7. Practice calming yourself mentally before making decisions and working towards solutions.

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